Moobs or Boobs?
by peaceless
Summary: Axel loved the ladies. But, after one day and one intensely insane conversation with Demyx, he discovered his new feelings for Roxas, his best friend. Too bad he's going to have to do some SERIOUS breaking up to win Roxas. And Axel always wins. Akuroku AU


Oh god, I couldn't help but upload a new story! I'm so sorry, hahah. Mr. Tambourine Man just won't come to me right now. But, the new chapter will be up soon. I've got the beginning done.

Let's see if I can handle two stories when I already suck at handling one.

This story is BASED AFTER A MOVIE. Which I will PUT AT THE END so I don't give away the first chapter. **THIS CHAPTER MAY SOUND LIKE ONE WHERE THEY END UP RIGHT WAY, BUT IF YOU KEEP READING UNTIL THE VERY END OF THE CHAPTER, YOU WILL SEE ITS NOT. **

**ENJOY!**

I don't own Kingdom Hearts or the movie that's at the end.

Please excuse any grammar or spelling mistakes I didn't catch. Just tell me and I'll fix.

**

* * *

**"Roxas, what would you do without me?" Axel smiled down at his best friend since first grade, putting his arm around his shoulders and leading him around Twilight Square.

"Tch, I would be better off without you." Roxas sarcastically said, sticking his tongue out at Axel and putting his arm around his waist, letting him pull him around the busiest part of the city. It was tradition between Axel and Roxas to go out on Sundays, they had been doing in for the past four years. The day usually consisted of them getting ice cream and just walking around and looking at all the shops, especially vintage shops, they were Axel's favorites. The ice cream was Roxas's favorite part.

Axel dramatically put his free hand over his heart, mock hurt on his face. "Roxas! Are you trying to break my heart?"

"Yes, I've been secretly trying to crush you for about fourteen years." Axel starred at Roxas completely straight face before throwing his head back in a laugh, and also pushing Roxas into a crowd of people. A chorus of "Damn it!" "Shit!" and, one voice saying, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!". Axel leaned back onto a wall and watched the scene unplay. Pulling out a cigarette he stuck it between his lips and watched Roxas get dirty looks from a woman who now had tea on her white shirt. Wait, tea, shirt, wet? Axel couldn't help but stare at the ladys shirt, which was now see through. _Mmmm, boobs._ Hey, he couldn't help himself. Axel was like sex on legs. One thing Axel liked more then cigarettes, coffee, and thrift shops all combined was sex, and boobs, defiantly the boobs. His gaze was snapped when Roxas walked over, but Axel knew he wouldn't be angry at him.

"Hey there clumsy." Axel put on his best smile, the smile that got him all the ladies. It was irresistible. Too bad Roxas never seemed to be even fazed by it. He walked right up to the lanky man and smacked him in the head, but all with a smile.

"You're buying me my ice cream."

"Alright, alright. As long as you buy me a hooker, with long legs, big tits and an ass of god." Roxas decided he deserved a punch in the ribs.

* * *

Axel leaned back in his chair, balancing himself and eating his ice cream. It wasn't as good as some _things, _but he liked ice cream. But, not as much as Roxas did of course. Roxas was at the moment devouring his second ice cream, which he forced Axel to pay for.

"Roxy, slow down there, you might choke and I'll have resuscitate you." Axel winked, his only response being Roxas scowling at him with a big blob of vanilla ice cream on his lip. _Looks like cum. _Axel's mind was quite dirty to say the least.

"Shut up you lard." Axel scoffed, feeling offended. He was no lard. He was sexy, in shape, and fuckable.

"Shut your mouth, you little dwarf."

"Hey! I may be short, but I'm 21, so no little." He's a little defensive about his height. "...yeti."

"Hey, hey, hey...hey. Just because you're jealous that I'm 6'2'' and you're 5'5' doesn't mean you should throw around such hurtful words!" Roxas rolled his eyes at his immature best friend.

"So, Axel. How's whoring up the city been going for you?" Putting his head in his hands Axel smirked, thinking about the other night.

"Oh, it's been wonderul. Last night I had one fine girl. Mmm."

"Tch, you're so disrespectful to women."

It was true. Axel Romez Amontillado was a total slut. Not terribly though, it wasn't _too_ disgusting in his case. He had a select fair amount of woman that he traded around on a weekly base. He was twenty one, and having the time of his life.

"What did I say about those jealousy problems? You're just upset because you're tied down to one woman. Namine." Axel scrunched his face up. He never did like her and her perfect natural blonde hair, and her perfect blue eyes, and her perfect figure, and her _perfect _personalty.

"I have no problem with being with Namine, unlike you, I'm not afraid of commitment." Roxas took a sip of his Diet Coke, eying Axel as he did so.

"Harsh blow. Maybe you should give me another _harsh blow_." Winking, Axel did an awkward tongue roll at his best friend who promptly flipped him off. _Roxy, Roxy, Roxy you little ball of fire, rawr! That was creepy. _"But seriously Rox, you've been together a year. A year! Do you know how long that is? Do you? I don't think you do, to be completely and utterly honest. That is 365 days of Namine. And me, and I'm obviously way cooler and more attractive than her. Whoops, getting off topic. Three, six, fiv-"

"You're a pile of shit, shut up." Roxas was smiling though. No matter how annoying, and rude...and retarded, AND _vulgar_ Axel was, he couldn't have chosen a better friend to spend fourteen of years of his life with.

"You're so mean to me, why do I put up with this? Oh, I know," Roxas raised in eyebrow, "I loveeee youuuu!" And there was his famous eye roll.

They continued to sit in the ice cream parlor, while Roxas ate his third cone. _What a fatty. _Axel chucked to himself, his chin resting on his forearm which was on the small two person table.

Axel had a weird feeling today, something was different. And, he just couldn't put his finger on it. He glanced up at Roxas who was trying to get some vanilla out of his hair. _Haha, how cute._ Had he accidentally forget to feed his cat, Swizerdoodle? No, he recalled this morning spilling the cat food and kicking the bag across the room. Axel looked up again, seeing Roxas looking frustrated at a new stain on his shirt. _Awh, look at that face!_ Maybe he left his bottle of toothpaste opened? Oh, how he hated doing that! There would he dried toothpaste on the container which he'd have to scrape off. Usually he just dropped in on the ground and let Swizerdoodle eat it. But that didn't seem right, what was different?!

_If I don't figure out I'm gonna rip out all my gorgeous hair! _

To be completely honest, Axel had been feeling "weird" a lot lately. And, it was usually when he was with Roxas. What could Roxas be doing to make him feel weird? It was just Roxas, his best friend for more then three quarters of his life. There wasn't even anything _special _about him.

Axel looked at his blonde hair. It was so soft looking even though it looked like it was covered in hairspray to make it flip and swirl. And his eyes, there was nothing special about those blue eyes. Those, oh, oh so blue eyes that could make you freeze on the street just to get a second glimpse of them. _And, that whimpy looking body! He looks like he couldn't even knock out Bill Nye the science guy. But oh man, he can throw a good punch. _Without noticing Axel rubbed his ribs where Roxas last punched him. Axel continued noticing things he never noticed before, like how Roxas's nose would scrunch up when he was aggravated or annoyed, it was cute.

Axel stared shifting in his chair feeling uncomfortable. _Why am I seeing all this now? Oh shit what does this mean?! Is this why I've been feeling weird? Because I'm noticing Roxas is attractive? I mean, yeah he is, but I'm just now seeing it. Oh man this is so weird, I got to get out of here!_

"Sorry Roxas, I've got to leave!" Axel jumped out of his chair, grabbing his leather jacket.

"Wait, why?! We haven't even looked at stores yet!"

"I've got to uh, meet someone, uhm, Demyx! I've got to meet Demyx right now. Right this moment. I'll talk to you later, kay bye!"

And just like that he was out the door as if someone stuck a needle up his ass.

* * *

"Demyx! Open the doooooooor!" Axel stood outside Demyx Dandali's apartment, banging on the door as if he was in a horror movie.

There was a shuffle and soon the door opened to a tired looking Demyx. His (retarded) hair even more stupid looking then usual. Apparently Axel had woke him up, not that Axel gave a flying shit.

"Is Zexion here?" Zexion Hayes was the other owner of this lovely flat, or Demyx's boyfriend.

Demyx gave Axel a weird look, crossing his long arms. "Maybe, maybe not. Whats the rush, fire crotch?" Axel could feel his eyebrow twich.

"Dildo. Is. Zexion. Here." Axel was sooo not in the mood for the pubic hair jokes.

"What? Is your crotch on fire? Do you need to me to direct you to the fire department for your crotch of fir-" And Demyx was shoved out of the doorway and Axel made his entrenere into the clean living room. Which, for the record, was only clean because of Zexion's need for tidiness.

"Okay, okay. What's the matter Axel? Zexion's at work." Demyx closed the front door and flopped down into a beanbag chair. Zexion hated that beanbag chair. As he likes to say, "so immature for an already immature twenty one year old."

Axel walked back and forth, not sure what to say. He took out a new cigarette, but remembered Zexion's "smoke in my house and I'll cut off your dick and feed it to Saix" rule. Tch, what a violent man for being so tiny. So, he just left it dangling between his lips, unlit. Deciding to settle himself on the floor criss cross applesauce Axel just starred at Demyx who starred back. It was quite a serious moment. At least, until Demyx started winking and biting the air. Dumbass.

"Okay Demyx, listen to me, be serious," Demyx nodded his head, intent on listening for once, "you know how I love tits, right?" and thats where he lost Demyx. "But today I noticed something," Demyx was still lost, "I like the way Roxas looks." And he was completely gone.

"I'm so confused!" Poor Demyx never stood a chance to Axels superior way of words.

"Demy, why am I looking at Roxy like this, it's never happened before!" And there Demyx started realizing what was going on, it clicked just like that. The lightbulb went on. The confusion left the room! The eagle is flying! Wait, I don't know about that last one..

"Axel, tell me about Roxas, and not just the simple things like how he likes to wear checkers."

Axel thought for a moment, his face blank of emotion before he started to smile. "He hates his hair. I bet know you're thinking, then why does he do his hair like that, right? He can't help it! His hair is a demon and won't be tamed. So he'll sit there for a hour trying to get it to go down, and he'll look so angry! He hates caramel with a burning passion. And he plays with his bangs when he's nervous. Sometimes at night he curls up in a ball and sings nursery songs to get himself to go to sleep. He only writes in cursive because our third grade teacher made him and it's always stuck." Axel looked up at Demyx who looked a little shocked. He blushed and looked away. "I..I don't know. Those are just the first things that came to mind."

"And, you have no idea what this all means? REALLY?" Demyx asked, laughing a bit.

Axel slowly shook his head, what was he missing? _I mean, those are things everyone knows about Roxas, right?_

"Dude, you're so totally in love with Roxy."

"OBJECTION!" Axel flew up, pointing at Demyx who couldn't stop laughing. And then Axel slowly sunk down into his seat. _Can I really love him? _"But, I'm straight Demyx! I like boobies!"

"Maybe you like moobs now?"

"Ew."

"So, Axel. I think you should tell him, tonight." Demyx nodded to himself, what a great plan!

"Seriously? I don't think I can. I mean, we've been best friends for so long, and then there's Namine! Theres no way he'll feel the same, and I don't want to ruin what we have." Axel was so, so lost.

"Thats what I thought about Zexion, but if I hadn't told him he would have never told me and I would be sitting her Zexionless." _He has a point._

"Touche."

And as if on cue, Axels phone rang. Taking it out of his pocket the screen looked up at him reading "Roxy". A jolt ran up his stomach.

"Yo." What? He needed to sound casual.

"Hey Axel, what's up?" _Okay, okay, casual so far._

"Nothing, just with Demyx," Demyx of course had to shout hi, "Sorry about earlier." _Alrighttt, goin' good. Smooth Axel._

"It's fine. Anyway, I wanted to know if you could come down to IcinIng, you know that fancy place on 6th Ave?"

"Sure, sure. Whats going down?" Axel was so good at sounding normal even though is heart was about to fall out of his ass.

"Namine," his heart just fell out of his ass, "his having a party tonight. She said it's REALLY important and to invite all my friends. So, you down?"

_Oh god, Namine will be there? God, shes such a fun sucking bitch! _"Yeah! Of course, you know me, always ready to partayy. Woo! Haha..Ha!" _I ruined the normal act in one nanosecond. _

"Uhm, alright, be there at seven, dress presentable for once."

"Will do! Bye Roxy." _I wanna shot myself in the stomach.  
_

"Bye Axe. Invite Dem and Zex for me."

And there was the dreaded dial tone.

"Whats going on Axel?!" Every time you have a phone call around Demyx, he MUST know what it was about. What an eavesdropping whore.

Stuffing the pink(what?) sidekick back in his pocket Axel sat down on the couch this time, letting out a big sigh. "Party tonight at IcinIng, 6th Avenue, seven p.m, look nice, Namine's throwing it." Axel pouted at Demyx.

"Awh, poor baby. This is the perfect time to tell him! Tonight!"

"Are you crazy? Pft, fuck yo couch man."

"That was uncalled for."

* * *

It was six fifty. And Axel, he was basically .03 seconds from having a seizure.

After much, much consideration, he was going to tell Roxas his feelings. He was still completely and utterly confused on how in one day he could discover this, but hey, thats life.

So There he was, standing inside IcinIng looking for Roxas.

_Oh god, what am I going to say? "Hey Roxas, I discovered today I love you!" "Roxasss, lookin' good! Guess what? I'm down with fucking you tonight!"_

The restaurant was large and nicely decorated. Which was weird, what could all the fuss be? But Axel couldn't think about that right now! Roxas, where was he?

Axel didn't see anyone that looked remotely like Roxas, and to be honest, he was getting frustrated and was two seconds from ripping his hair out of the completely gay ponytail. Luckily blonde spikes stood out in the crowd.

"Roxas!" Axel rushed for, not wanting to loose sight of him. Roxas turned around and smiled at Axel, finally someone he knew! Everyone here was Namine's friends.

"Axel! It's so good to see you! I was getting so annoyed with all of Namine's friends coming up to me and giggling like school girls." And there was his nose scrunch. _He's too adorable. Ugh, these new thoughts will be the death of me. _

"Hah, I know." _Do I say it now? No, no. I can't. Ah fuck, just get over with! _"Look, Roxas. Uhm, I have something I need to tell you."

"Go ahead, you know I'm always here for you to talk too." Roxas put his drink down on a table and looked right up into Axel's eyes. Thats was the last little push Axel needed to spill his guts and hope for the best.

"Okay, how do I say this? You know what, I'm not even gonna try and sugar coat it! Roxas, I l-"

"Roxas, wheres Roxas in the crowd?!" A loud microphone shouted over the crowd, and Axel knew that voice. _Namine._

She stood on the small stage located in the back of the room. She was wearing a short white dress that had laze trimming, and of course everyone had to look up at her and _smile. _Axel frowned, wasn't she just asking for Roxas? How did she know how to call him up right then? Oh god, she was a mind reader! Axel inwardly panicked before feeling stupid.

"Roxas!" _Thanks Namine. My ears are bleeding now form your fucking voice!_ He was a wee bit angry from getting interrupted. "Roxas, get up here!"

Roxas looked confused before smiling apologetically at Axel and making his way towards the stage. Tch, he already looked nervous and uncomfortable. Namine knew Roxas didn't like attention. He was soon soon on stage, and Namine was smiling widely.

Axel crossed his arms and made a "hmph!" noise.

"Roxas, I'm not going to sugar coat it." _THAT BITCH STOLE MY LINE! _"Roxas Mellie, will you marry me?"

Axel's heart literally stopped for a second.

And then it stopped for a total of five seconds when Roxas looked around as if scarred, and then said one word, "yes."

His hearts just stopped beating when Roxas came over and asked him to be the best man, and he smiled and said, "I would have killed you if you picked anyone else!"

* * *

Kukukukukukukkuku.

If you didn't guess, this is going to be based of the movie, "Maid of Honer". The lead actor is Patrick Dempsey from Grey's Anatomy. Sound familiar? Go rent it if you haven't seen it! It will be plenty different from that movie. So don't think they'll be the same.

I'm excited for this story (: I've been writing on and off for fun for a few months.

**REVIEW! please :D  
**


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